He seems to expect people to ask if the need any help what so ever, rather than offering assistance to anyone. Seems a bit immature to me. Not long after moving in, his parents came over with a car full of Karls' belongings and Karl just watched them bringing it all from the car into the house without offering to help. Then 2 weeks afterwards his dad brought over about 30 shoe boxes full of items that Karl had packed and requested that his dad dropped off after work, once again Karl watched after his dad brought in all of the boxes and didn't offer to help. I did say to him afterwards, how come he never asked to help, to which he responded I didn't ask either.... not my stuff but his!!! To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if as a child his parents unloaded the shopping from the car whilst he just went inside and did his own thing.
If there is one thing that my illness causes me, is fatigue, so doing housework does use energy and there is only so much energy I have.
So the other day he laughed about the fact my bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it. Well I've not had time to keep my bedroom tidy as I've been running around after him and his mess clearing the rest of the house tidy and trying to get it tidy. He doesn't even put the empty toilet rolls in the recycling box, which annoys me. Why leave a pile of 3+++ empty toilet rolls on the windowsill? He tends to use about one per day, even me being a Crohnie that is more then norm. Would it really take that much energy for him to put them in the recycling box? Simple little tasks like that which he's too much of a lazy f*cker to do just annoy me. Yes, it is starting to make me depressed the fact that I seem to have more housework to do than I can keep up with. When I was living on my own, it was only myself I had to clear up after, so that was much simpler and it meant I had extra time to tidy and improve the house. However, living with him when I have extra work to do, is just using up too much energy.
I made a joke to Rosie before I went in --- "I bet you £10 Karl is asleep", surprise surprise, in bed fast asleep.
I had used the last bowl on Satuday morning, knowing that I'd be spending the weekend at mums therefore kind of expecting maybe he'd managed to switch it on over the weekend? No such luck. I hadn't switched the dishwasher on in the morning as having left early, I didn't want to leave the dishwasher on whilst the house was vacant. The dishwasher holds the same amount of plates/bowls as we actually have, so when we are out of dishes, then obviously there is only one thing to do!
This isn't the first time I've got extremely mad at him for being a lazy pr*ck and probably won't be the last.
A few weeks ago I sent him a long message after having talked to some of my friends having been upset by feeling like a "slave".
This is the message I sent him on facebook a while back after he had said to me that I "don't do anything" despite the fact I'd spent the entire day doing things. It looks like even though he appologised and did for a while "attempt to help" he is back to old habits. Old habits certainly do die hard.
- Did I or did I not cook dinner? Think I have the entire week actually! Not to mention the washing up too. Seriously, handling hot pans and sharp knives with POTS and no supervision... do you think that's the wisest idea??? Before you ask, yes I have blacked out with a knife in my hand before and still can show the scar. No, blackouts don't just happen at night. That is the reason I need a carer... if such things were safe for me, then I'd be living on my own. POTS has put me in resus several times nearly killing me... it happens without warning. It can happen any time, any where. Yes, I know you work, but even supervision when cooking meals should be part of your job. Maybe you need to understand a bit more about my condition... and the real reason why I need someone here. You've seen me on the floor with the dog food everywhere... n that wasn't even late... if that had been boiling water or a knife in my hand???Ok, so like you, I find it easier to write then talk, and obvious sometimes you aren't going to listen because your stubborn. Who is here as the carer? I don't do anything huh? I was cleaning the bathroom, vaccumed, got rid of cobwebs and cleaned kitchen from 7.30am (yes I was up that early) until 10 (when mum arrived) gardening from 10 until 2pm, maybe you didn't notice it was any cleaner because maybe my cleaning skills suck, but I did spend a long time sorting things out. Then took dog walk, knackered after all of that, so took a few mins off and then cooked dinner. Maybe in future I won't bother doing anything like that again... because obviously I don't do anything. Well sorry but if you look up Crohn's it will state that one of the biggest issues is Fatigue. So sorry I didn't put away one can and turn one light switch off, but there was YOUR dinner you didn't want to eat that I cooked still needing to be put in fridge - but too hot to do so!!! You can't put warm food in fridge!!! So yeh, I had to wait up in order to do that. Sometimes maybe some help without me having to ask for it with meals would be nice? Don't think I don't do anything; because every single day I do as much as I possibly can. I can't do as much as a normal person, because, my health does not allow me to. I push myself to the limits and do as much as I can every single day; some days I do more than others, some days I'm stuck in bed or on the sofa unable to do much. That is part of my health.
Anyway, so now we seem to be back to him not doing much and critising what I haven't done rather than seeing all of the stuff I have done. I seem to spend all day whilst he is working doing housework, which goes un-noticed. It would be nice if he could at least do a few simple tasks - if dishwasher is full, put it on; if it's all clean put it away. If the toilet roll is used, don't just put a new one in it's place, but put the old empty one in the recycling box. Offer to help if I appear to be struggling or busy doing something.
I feel like my depression is starting to hit me again and it feels like the fact is because I am having to put up with simple little things like this which Karl is unable to do, despite being an adult. His parents may have let him get older and do so as he wished, but it seems that being an adult and actually becoming adult was something his parents maybe didn't see the need to teach him? His parents obviously didn't enforce a healthy diet on him, so many foods he has not tried because he seems to have spent his entire life eating nothing but pasta and rice (not even with any sauces). No surprises he is over weight and has already lost a huge amount since having lived with me.
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