March 30th - Not coping.

You wouldn't think it would be that hard for someone to dial the carers sevices in order to get a card to say that they are a carer. If he was taken ill then emergency care would be put in place. His arguement being that my mum would be there --- well not if it was Friday evening or other time when mum is unable to look after me. Karl is here for a reason. I blackout therefore it is not safe for me to live on my own. I wonder why he is here though because the jobs that I'd expect out of him he can't/won't do because he seems too lazy.

It is not safe for me to handle a kitchen knife, boiling water, walk outside on my own --- because of my condition.

To be honest, since he has lived here, I feel like I am becoming more and more depressed. I don't have a choice though - I live here with Karl, or I move back to parents. I brought this place for a reason. Freedom. I want to be independent and hoped with that "little bit of help" that I could be. It is not much in help which I do need, I am more a less independent.

Karl seems to be like a very big immature child. I saw this post on facebook, I think it sums everything up pretty well in regards to him! (Although not married).

Anyway, Karl is refusing to phone up carers swindon because he doeen't want it being said on his g.p notes... bit confused as to why not because at the end of the day it's the G.P/Hospital who need his details as they would be the ones to take on note if he was taken ill. It goes onto the hospital system that he is a carer. He doesn't want it listed as he is living here. He even basically said what is the point of him living here.

 Yeh why is he here I wonder, because he creates more work for me, won't walk the dog with me and won't even supervise with cooking the meals. He won't even do stuff that involves using knife or kettle. 

I'm becoming more and more depressed living here. Sh*t being at my parents with no freedom what so ever was better than living with a slob like Karl.Welcome to the world of depression if this is how my life is going to be from now on, I would be better off dead because I hate this! I am becoming more and more depressed each day. I had hopes and dreams that being on my own and regaining my freedom I felt would achieve. Seriously, what adults wants to live with their parents at this age? I don't, I really don't, but my options seem to be very very limited. Once again, damn you illness for ruining my life!